Love and Money: Finding Financial Harmony in Relationships

This week’s insight is all about love. Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody.

Cocoa prices raced to record highs by the end of last year. Then just a few weeks ago, President Trump threatened tariffs on Colombia—a key exporter of flowers. And if you’re looking to bake your loved one a decadent cake this Friday night, the cost of eggs is enough to break your heart.

On a more serious (or boring) note, there’s no denying that a relationship’s health often hinges on financial matters. Couples that are open about their money goals, work together on a budget, and don’t make big purchases behind the other’s back usually have more harmony. Indeed, financial dynamics play a critical role in love and marriage. A December 2023 study by researchers at Northwestern University published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that combining bank accounts can improve relationship quality. I mean, what’s more romantic than pooling your checking and savings?

Of course, there’s important science at work here. Joint accounts foster a “we” perspective, aligning financial priorities and reducing potential conflict. According to the study, husbands and wives with merged accounts reported happier marriages, but there are important risks. If, say, one spouse asserts too much financial control, then separating accounts can be an effective solution. From a financial planning perspective, it can be easier to hit your goals if you are all-in together, but I recognize that life is not always perfect that way.

The truth is that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution—what works for you might not work for the Joneses down the road. And that’s fine. The key is to discover what you and your partner are comfortable with and build toward your financial goals from there. Communicating near-term money issues and establishing long-term wealth goals is sound practice, but new research cautions against being too open about financial issues. Tension can arise if you dissect each spending decision, breeding distrust and emotional strain.

So, you need to find what works best for you and your main squeeze. In general, having regular budget check-ins is good, but ensuring some financial autonomy is usually a smart move, too. Also, be sure to preserve spontaneity in your marriage; not everything in life is transactional. Keep that spark alive!